stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
