That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
