How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
