i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
