my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
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