But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
