do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
