i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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