Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
