Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
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I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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You are the jesus of drinking
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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