i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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