i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
