and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
