Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
