dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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