:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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