why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
