She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
