i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize