Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
