just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
