the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
