U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Randomize
