You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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