i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
