i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
