I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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