my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
