The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
