I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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