You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Randomize
