Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call