I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS