I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.