i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Two words: nipple clamps
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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