BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
