I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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