He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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