that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
