I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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