I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
