ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You have to summon your inner elephant
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
