yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
