That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
