It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
