i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
only if we run a train.
done.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
