I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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