the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
People in love make me want to vomit
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize