Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm at about main and main street
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
