my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
