Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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