So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
