No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
