Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
