He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
40s are totally the cure
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
