about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
