i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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