I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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