Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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